My Dear Paranoid

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43306418879589422102011-11-28T08:04:46.205+08:00My Dear ParanoidHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-80546305010577052332009-04-03T13:38:00.002+08:002009-04-03T13:42:49.151+08:00Poor Ray

Me:"Raymond, would you please do me a favor?"Raymond:"yes, sure."Me:"can you hold the popsicle for me?"Raymond:"yes, sure."Me (running and saying) :" i need to go to the boy's room."Raymond:"......"... ...

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-48021964579526840362009-04-02T20:11:00.002+08:002009-04-02T20:15:16.508+08:00Untitled

I can't wait till summer to get tanned. really can't...hopefully i can swim this year, need to talk to friends to teach me.weather is very pleasant recently, I'm not moody anymore. things are going to the bright side.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-70591892682203605412009-03-05T17:46:00.004+08:002009-03-05T18:01:30.218+08:00Day 2

Bell said I should keep on telling him about my feeling, and call him directly. It's not good to have too much pride and possibly he is expecting for my call.But I don't know, how do I know about that? We called it an end. And every night I just feel like shit.It's not easy for me to pass through two days without contacting with him, I need to wash him off my brain if that's what we want.Anyway,

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-66089077889466896552009-03-03T23:35:00.002+08:002009-03-03T23:38:38.817+08:00Ha

All I want to do is finish that three muffins, and waiting for the next time to get totally wasted.That's where I belong.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-39979118756726158752009-03-02T21:07:00.002+08:002009-03-02T21:24:37.324+08:00What i'm thinking

I really appreciate all the happiness and tenderness he brought last few weeks. it's been a long time that my heart beating so fast for someone.But It is not a good sign, we all know the end of the chapter, in the end my heart break into pieces if i don't control myself; and i will lock myself at home, calling friend and crying over the phone till im totally dehydrated; life still goes on, and i

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-25592859397617021842008-12-03T20:55:00.002+08:002008-12-03T20:59:38.642+08:00About justice

That jerk is a piece of shit, he is doing something illegal; the police office is a piece of shit, they said there was nothing they can do; i feel like a piece of shit, i'm powerless, i only can just look at them doing the things i hate.there is no justice, so there is Dexter. i wish im Dexter.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-69477316736923667572008-11-30T21:57:00.002+08:002008-11-30T22:07:29.222+08:00no ginger pls

i dont like the taste of ginger, so i pick it out from my plate and throw it away. maybe someone else will love it, but that doesn't matter.or maybe ginger doesn't like me, because of the stupid personality; but the ginger never been to my mouth, how could it know what kind of person i am? possiblelly we could get along very well.but anyway, it's all done now.oh, sorry, ginger means guys...

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-77971110385987031062008-11-28T23:26:00.003+08:002008-11-28T23:43:06.934+08:00Thoughts when just out of shower

i always do things that are not fit for me or not good for me. like drinking, smoking in the bar or trying so hard to get the guy who has no interest in me.last year, when the time that i never take any alcohol, my life was a disaster, i was a stupid sad poor thing, i was so unhappy.i started drinking, i had lots of fun, i do whatever i want to, never care about what other people think about

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-53435635245103714082008-09-18T23:56:00.002+08:002008-09-19T00:00:46.256+08:00Thursday

i used to think this person was sooo arrogant that i would never want to get to know him. and maybe i should say i hated him.but today when i passed him the cards, his hands were trembling, and he was really excited and impressed by the cards.i felt really bad that i thought about him before.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-44651442981842351052008-04-21T00:54:00.002+08:002008-04-21T01:39:56.774+08:00fat fightig, running, Mr, S

Mr. S and i met on 28th Mar 2008, Eddy's Bar. now it will be a month soon, i still feel happy that i didn't cancel the trip to shanghai the last minute, sometimes, the window will be open just at the unexpected time.With the past experience, I'm handling carefully between him and I. being more thoughtful, being more patient. With less sense of insecure, I'm quite happy about what I'm having

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-60930824103002688982008-03-30T23:25:00.003+08:002008-03-31T00:09:14.466+08:00untitled

OK, now god opened another window for me, so can i really take this chance to get out of the trap to get what i want? i really don't know. for the most important i don't know what is outside of the window.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-60402321133916194802008-03-24T20:25:00.002+08:002008-03-24T20:30:43.402+08:00untitled

"hey, why you look sad?""really?""yea!""damn it, i tried my best to look happy." "is this better?""no no, too many teeth" "ah, thats better"

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-3532374390820364262008-03-22T18:10:00.002+08:002008-03-22T18:27:13.052+08:00坏天气

最近的天气不是那么的好，所以情绪难免会被影响。为了让自己能有足够的快乐，把抑郁的心情踢到最边缘，我开始疯狂吃零食，主食，一切能满足我的味觉和肚子的食物。吃了晚餐，尝了蛋糕，最后还颇有理由地喝完一整罐的酸奶，‘帮助消化’。于是新的问题来了，每次酸奶完之后，强烈的睡意便来侵袭我，有好几次直接躺在椅子上小睡了1小时左右。我知道，这一切让我看起来都是那么的悲哀。办了健身卡，但是没有去的动力；一个人睡觉，太孤独，于是J在杭州的那段时期，总算是有人躺在身旁，但是我的鼾声却止不住；吃的太多，而且也不健康；给别人做了精神寄托，但是自己却一直彷徨，一直孤单。对于这些我实在是找不到彻底根治的办法，于是我便任其自然，开心了，我大吃大喝，伤心了，我还是大吃大喝；坦然地面对改变不了的现实，但时不时也小小期盼下不久的将来可能会能得到的生活。

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-59148999628687875902008-03-18T22:58:00.002+08:002008-03-18T23:10:26.406+08:00Death

30 were killed in Tibet, sad.2 were killed on the pavement of BJ district by a car which the driver was not even drunk, sad.1 car down in the street of office passed by me with only 1cm distance, lucky?Me still alive, moody.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-59735299317776080882008-03-14T16:22:00.002+08:002008-03-14T16:34:59.380+08:00奇怪的梦

在梦里，我会开车了，于是我疯狂地在城市里穿梭，不是我渴望的美国高速公路。没有任何缘由地被人追杀和追杀别人；没有任何武器，就凭着一辆红色的mini cooper。我身手敏捷，躲过了所有的攻击，但是看到心痛的根源时，我义无反顾地撞了上去，没有任何疼痛。

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-82129110802454879152008-03-08T22:00:00.002+08:002008-03-08T22:30:09.283+08:0021yo??NO!!

Now i just realise that im only 21yo, which really bother me a lot. i took a long time to grow up, to suffer all those pain. i took a long time to get to where i am , and i thought 'well, now im old enough to make people think im really old enough to settle down with', but now, that fact makes me feel that what i want is still far away.

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-73768252856123777202008-03-05T23:19:00.003+08:002008-03-05T23:53:33.882+08:00Loneliness

2008-3-523:10:49张至唯:每個人都是寂寞的，真的。2008-3-523:11:00张至唯:這是我們唯一不寂寞的地方2008-3-523:11:27My Dear Paranoid::但是每个人寂寞的样式不同2008-3-523:11:39My Dear Paranoid::我的样式是快要死的状态2008-3-523:11:53张至唯:真的嗎？2008-3-523:12:00My Dear Paranoid::很难受很难受2008-3-523:12:01张至唯:快要死的狀態？2008-3-523:12:34My Dear Paranoid::好像你一个人在只有3平米的小岛上，什么也没有2008-3-523:12:37My Dear Paranoid::很憋2008-3-523:12:47张至唯:恩恩2008-3-523:12:55张至唯:其實自己一個人2008-3-523:

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-11430197661313180042008-03-04T19:57:00.003+08:002008-03-05T00:12:27.563+08:00低潮

回家的路上我一直重复地放着creep，从小到大都是这么偏执狂地喜欢什么样的东西就会一直喜欢下去，直到伤及到我，然后我还会流连忘返地慢慢放弃。在公车上神游，直到错过了目的地才把自己从想象的某个角落拉回来，我今天是真的很不开心，一切都是那么的不好，我试着用‘根源法’去找到让自己不开心的源头，试了一半之后我便收手，我怕真相会把我搞的更糟糕，于是我就把所有的情绪化都憋在心里。错过了公车，于是我爬上了出租车，10分钟后就是我的归属地

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-11726305619001701752008-03-04T08:28:00.002+08:002008-03-04T08:31:24.238+08:00包博赢了

包博赢了，我脑袋里的另外一个疯狂的我被无限的内疚感给淹没了。于是我开始情绪低落

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4330641887958942210.post-13173072590768534092008-03-02T21:31:00.006+08:002008-03-02T23:44:32.576+08:00doors are closed,windows are ...??

I said good-bye to Jesse, i dont think i'm the right person that he wanted, i dont like always trying so hard to get close to him which is never succeed, and there are many things that i dont like to do anymore. so i totally shut down the door.The last day of CNY, S called me to hang out with, i was working late, and also tired, but didnt know why i accepted as usually i always find a bunch of

Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08304663899266770252noreply@blogger.com0