Thoughts when just out of shower

i always do things that are not fit for me or not good for me. like drinking, smoking in the bar or trying so hard to get the guy who has no interest in me.

last year, when the time that i never take any alcohol, my life was a disaster, i was a stupid sad poor thing, i was so unhappy.
i started drinking, i had lots of fun, i do whatever i want to, never care about what other people think about me.
but i got fatty liver.

and it related to guys also, always that i like a guy, but he plays hard to get, and i get annoyed, i piss him off, i think its over, then he comes back to tease me again, i want him again, but he is just teasing me, so i get pissed, and i freak out, and finally i'm the crazy one.
i mean whats the point? you guys could just tell me to fuck off or in a gental way 'sorry you are not my type'

so im really done with all of the hide and seek game, i know im young, but i dont want to waste my time.

I'm really cant afford to play another round of the game.
Wish you hot guys all the best.